Out of sight, not out of mind....

Well, it seems as though as SW doesn't check her Gmail on a regular basis as well. But when she does, a whole bunch of forwarded video clips for my viewing pleasure. Comedy clips are the order of the day with some ocassional "Positive Thinking" themed posters/pictures.

I've finally finished reading "The Da Vinci Code" on Saturday. Delays, work and all. The modern term "horny" is derived from the Egyptian God of Masculine Fertility- Amon, who had a head of a ram. Hence the term, horny. Interesting. I wouldn't have known unless I read Dan Brown's book ;)

The past week was a killer, the weather-induced headaches. On Saturday morning, I looked out the window and I thought I saw mist. It was gloomy and I thought it would be a very cool day. Upon stepping out of the building after work, my nostrils were assaulted by the stench of ash and the smell of something burning. Mist my ass - the haze was back. It was like stepping out on a foggy day in Genting Highlands. Good thing the rain later in the day cleared the skies. Weather's a lot cooler now. Maybe cause I'm not feeling the effects of the fever/headache that I've had.

Flexibility

Another dose of bullshit from management. We've got to be adaptive to changes, flexible. There are talks about having 3 month rotation for shifts, a 4-day work week or a permanent fix on our shifts. Non-official news is that we'll be sticking to permanent shifts.

All in the name of cutting costs. Why? Rotation-basis shifts will mean that transportation for the other departments will be affected so they decided to make it permanent.

Does that mean no bonuses or increments for us? On the other hand, increments and bonuses would be handled by AMOs. Perhaps there's a chance. But won't know for sure until the time comes around.

The Project

We were required to do some sort of decorations for our work "cubicles". Someone came up with the idea of coming up with Zodiac signs.

So we have another guy who's a Virgo like myself and he came up with a whole load of text which he kindly offered me. Of course while doing my own research, I came across some tid-bits here and there. Honestly I wasn't putting 100% into this project because come on, its like some silly school girl project. But what the hell, the boss wants it and the boss handles our increments etc. So here we are - doing a Zodiac project. I couldn't really be bothered coming up with alternative solutions.

Virgo - are mostly loners, have very few real relationships but when they do, it ends in pain and heartbreak etc.

Depressing....

SONY PSP

Launch day is coming and I still want the freaking Sony PSP. Why for god's sake? WHY?!?!?!?! It's a unnecesary luxury.

Don't Waste Time On Useless People

That's what someone told me when I told her how silent my phone was during the CNY and Valentine's period. Or how when all the sms-es that I sent went unreplied. She said I should have taken her out for dinner instead. But she's always so busy, that I have to be slot into her daily schedules and date books just to have dinner with her. Are you reading this? =p

Question is: how am I going to respond to this. A hostile reply? Or just pretend like nothing happened? Peaceful "negotiations" is always better, no? Now only if there's a chance to practice that.

That's the other thing about me, I can forgive but NEVER forget. You have been warned!

Neon signboards.....

It sure feels like I got a big neon signboard over my head that reads "SUCKER!".

I've been trying to get ZT on the phone ever since CNY. I'm pretty sure she's read my messages on Friendster and the sms but chose not to reply. Will they only call me when they want or need something? Or am I really a sucker? What do I do when/if they do contact me again? Am I going to turn to jelly again?

Someone please pinch me the next time I find myself drifting into this sort of trap again. PLEASE! And smash that neon signboard while you're at it.

It's the first time in about 4 years since I bought a book. Yes, a real book. The last book I bought was "The Lord of The Rings" after the first movie came out.

I finally succumbed to the hype and bought Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code". Believe the hype, the book's pretty good.

Now I say "pretty good" for a couple of reasons. I'm very, very stingy with compliments most of the time. I'm also not much of a reader (especially books). My reading material the past couple of years were limited to only car magazines and the ocassional FHM magazine.

I bought it on Saturday morning at Times, 1U after work, to prepare for a lousy shift on Saturday night. The last time I worked on a Saturday, I realized that interruptions did not make an enjoyable gaming experience when I brought my GBA to work. I now realize that I'm not much of a multi-tasker. Reading while waiting for calls is NOT enjoyable as well. I guess I'd like to concentrate 100% when I'm doing something.

The other reason that I think its good - I bought it on Saturday morning and I've finished half the book as of today. Question is, when I finish it - what next? I was checking out other authors, older books - Michael Crichton, Stephen King, Anne Rice.

The weather is murder. It's been so hot, the thunderstorms in the evenings are not much help. Looks like I've got a mild fever since yesterday. Time to retreat and confine myself to my air-con room. Can't wait for the next off-day!

Looking through rose-tinted glasses.....

That was then.....

I was watching some kid while having a mini-reunion dinner at the restaurant the other day. He was probably about 5 or 6 years old. He was walking around, doing the "Buddha Palm Strike" on every inanimate object in his way - mainly the plastic chairs around. This kid must've watched "Kung Fu Hustle" too many times. Or perhaps an overdose of kung fu-themed commercials on the telly (Kurnia Insurance tv-commerical comes to mind).

So this kid goes around, smacking every other chair in sight, making all sorts of sound effects. Then dad says I used to be like that when I was younger. Always in the super-hero poses. Funny, can't really remember that but then again.....

We were oblivious to our actions and surroundings when we were younger. Not a care in the world. The best things about Chinese New Year were the angpows, fireworks and food. The family gatherings, the games and laughter.

Not a care in the world. The fireworks, sparklers, pop-pops, etc. Stuffing our faces with the cookies and snacks.

Ang-pow takings were the highlights. Every single ringgit saved was gold. Back then, a couple of hundred in ang-pow money and you'll be on top of the world.

No pressures, no burdens.

We didn't know the value of money or where it was coming from. Come Chinese New Year, its time for shopping. New clothes and shoes were part and parcel of the celebrations.

This is now.....

Not so much on fireworks and such. We know who to blame for that. But being a health and safety hazard as well - I can't say I'd blame them. Watching fireworks as a kid and as a 20-something - the feeling just isn't the same.

The haul this year? Slightly over RM 250. Pathetic by today's standards. With inflation and all that. Maybe its an unspoken advice from relatives. Something along the lines of "Go get off your useless ass and get married already! You're too old to be receiving ang-pows!"

The only constant thing then and now, stuffing our faces with cookies and snacks!

Frankly, it didn't even really bother me if I could get new clothes or shoes these past couple of years even though it was tradition.

As we grow older, there's added burdens and pressures. We see everything differently now. We're conscious of what people perceive of us and our actions. We think about actions and consequences.

Gong Hei Fatt Choy!

The year didn't start off too well for some, myself included. Down with a flu and was feeling crappy for most of the Chinese New Year. In fact, I hardly went out at all. Probably a case of the blues as well.....

Anyhow, here's to a blessed year filled with happiness and prosperity to all!

Sunday Morning.....

"Sunday Morning" - Maroon 5

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning

She whispers to me again.....

SW replied and said she got my sms-es the other day. She's been giving the same advice for sometime now.

"Be Happy. Simple words but often misunderstood. ", she says.

Easier said than done, methinks, as always. It's going to take awhile. I don't feel as bad as I thought I would. Maybe its not so bad after all?

Funny though, she's stopped sending me forwards to my Gmail account. I've neglected this account for sometime now, checking it ocassionally. Lots of forwards from her the past couple of weeks. But then after last Monday. ZERO. Zilch..... a sign of things to come?

Cliches.....Cliches.....Cliches

I've heard so many this past week.

"If its not meant to be yours, its not meant to be yours"
"If she's yours, she'll come back to you"

Is that supposed to be comforting? I don't really find it much help, to be honest. But I guess that's reality to some, and I might have to accept it. Is there really such a thing as Fate? Or is it something one has to work on?

It's always easy to say it - dish out the best advice ever. But when the you're caught in the situation yourself, I bet you won't be able to do what you tell others. Besides, heavy doses of Hong Kong serials must've made me into a non-believer.

"You made my day, man. You deserve a raise!"

What kind words from a customer. Its very, very rare that we get someone appreciative of what we do. Mr Nice Guy was happy with what I could do for him about his car loan that he said I deserve a raise. I casually mentioned that he should speak to my supervisor about it and he requested to speak to one! I transferred the call to VV and in the end, he sent out an email to all the staff on the floor in Customer Service. VV told me he would also make sure that the AVP got a copy of the email as well.

Now I've got good comments in my appraisals! And if that raise really does materialize, excellent. I can still hope, can't I?

I've learnt that being humble doesn't do jack-shit for me in my organization now. We've got to blow our own horn and blow it loud. That might bring me places. If only I had realized that sooner, I'd have TWO good comments in my appraisals for the 6 months I've been at work.

Suddenly, I'm like a hero at work. The new guys (who'd eventually know me anyway) now know who I am.

I'm like getting interviews about the call that got escalated to the supervisor (OK - it was just ONE interview from a junior).

I'm famous. A superstar! But I don't want that. I've always been low-key, behind the scenes. Not one who wants to steal the limelight. But then if I've got to blow my own horn to get places, then that's what I have to do.....just in a more subtle manner.

I won't mind that raise though!

Thanks Mr Nice Guy - you made my day too!

The Reunion

Had a call from SH the other day while on the way back from work. The old group wanted to meet up. I wasn't so sure at that time. I was confused and I didn't even know what day it was. I had to call him back to find out exactly what day the get-together was.

About 8 of us met up at Pyramid last night. Went to Kim Gary's (or is it Gary Kim's? I forget) for dinner. Cheese Baked Pork Chop rice. Mmmmmm.....always have a thing for cheese.

Decided to have a drink after that. We couldn't decide where to go. Ended up at one of the pubs at the Promenade area. Don't even know what it's called. I don't remember the last time I had beer. Had a couple of glasses. I still don't like it. How anyone can consume so much baffles me.

Funny - don't they sell Kampai anymore?

Interesting Reads

I wonder how PS is doing? Since the last time I got the sms from her, haven't heard from her since. Is she back in KL?

I woke up early, about 5:30 am this morning. It was supposed to be a quick toilet visit but here I am now, about 3 hours later, blogging away. Watched abit of TV too.

Decided to check my mails - hoping for something, a pleasant surprise I guess. No such luck. However, I did check out PS's blog. And she's got some pretty interesting links to other blogs too.Where does she find all these stuff?!?!

I checked some of the other blogs out as well. These people seem to have such interesting lives. Is there something wrong with me? Do I need some loosening up? I'm like a drama king or something.....

Well, for your reading pleasure:-

The Datin Diaries - True confessions of a real life Datin! It's an interesting read. I've got to check back more often

Sony PSP - USA Launch Date, Sony PSP - I Want You So Badly

It's finally announced - March 24 2005.

"While the PSP's ship date fell inside previously announced release parameters, its price was higher than expected. Sony will only sell the PSP as part of a single-SKU "Value Pack" for $249 in the US, CDN$299 in Canada. The new price point is $50 higher than the $199 many industry analysts predicted; that was based on the PSP's Japanese MSRP of 19,800 yen (approximately $185).

Besides the PSP unit itself, the Value Pack will include a 32MB Memory Stick Duo (which usually retails from $24.99 to $39.99 solo), headphones with remote control, a battery pack, AC adapter, soft case and cleaning cloth, and a UMD disc with game-demo movies, and a music and video sampler. As an incentive for early adopters, Sony will include a free UMD copy of the blockbuster superhero film Spider-Man 2 with the first one million PSP Value Packs shipped "

Damn it - its coming with a UMD disc of Spider-Man 2. That will get people's saliva drooling. Watching a movie on a hand-held.

Too tempting, must resist. Maybe if I get that raise that Mr Nice Guy recommended..... Company's financial year is supposed to end in April 2005. I wonder what sort of bonus they'd be announcing.

That might help fund the purchase of the PSP. Will be damned useful on boring Saturday night shifts too, that's for sure!

I teased Bro Ryan the other day. Always asking him when he'd get me the PSP. He gets irritated about that, all the time. And I kinda enjoy it. One time, I told him I always got what I wanted (material things). And come to think of it, its true.

Sooner or later, I always get what I want. It's just a matter of time. Gadgets like the PS2, XBOX, Gamecube. The Honda Civic. Next on the list is probably the Sony PSP. Then again, its a rather long list. There's a new handphone in there somewhere, an Apple iPod (which I can probably scratch off if I get the PSP), a nice, shiny new watch, the Canon Ixus S40 digital camera.....I can just go on and on.

Daydreaming, I should be going back to sleep. Maybe its the alcohol residue in my body doing the thinking.

Broken and Battered.....

Start Of Chapter - 16th May 2004, 1:04:27 am

" They say Happiness wears different masks, comes in many guises. There are lucky ones where Happiness finds them. I'm not so blessed. I've tried to find Happiness many times. Just when I thought I have Happiness within my grasps, she slips away.

My quest to search for Happiness has been a long and painful journey. Along the way, we might meet someone who might point us in the right direction, someone who can provide us with the right items, a person with wisdom and experience to offer. In the end, it is a journey one has to take alone.

After losing my way many times, I thought I was back on the right path. The path that would lead me to Happiness. I've seen the signs. The signs couldn't have been wrong.

The birds were chirping, the sun was shining. That's when I saw Happiness, in the distance. I could hear Happiness calling out to me. I thought I was almost there, Happiness was just within reach. I made my way towards the voice, Happiness was whispering out to me - leading me towards her.

Suddenly thick, black clouds form around me. The clouds are too fast for me. I cannot run and there's nowhere to hide. Then Darkness hits me, its all around me. There is so much pain I have to close my eyes.

Sadness, Pain, Anger, Disappointment, Failure.....they're all taunting me. How does one feel so many emotions at the same time? Then I realise I'm only human, my weakness.

Was it really Happiness calling out to me? Or someone else in disguise?

I open my eyes to find Happiness is nowhere to be seen. She's gone. Everything gone in moments. Everything I've done to get here - has it been in vain? Has everything gone to waste? All hope feels lost.

Now, I'm stranded in an empty field. I see people in the distance. Maybe people I've met before, perhaps familiar faces. They'll be searching for something of their own. I have to find my way back.

People always say its the journey, not the destination. And someone once said what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Perhaps there is wisdom in those words. There is a lesson to be learnt.

Right now, I'm broken and battered.....I'm lost and alone again. I need time to heal."

End Of Chapter - 31st January 2005, 11:35:55 pm

- To Be Continued -

The words "You'll always be a good friend" - no matter how many times you hear it, it's always the same. It hurts like hell.

It's always about me, not about her. From the way things seem to appear, I've finally come to realise that I was the problem, not her. I just don't know why I was blind not to see it earlier. But then why did it seem otherwise? Was it all a lie?