Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Shit! This is the 2nd post I'm writing up. Hit the refresh button and lost everything before I managed to copy it. Was up since 7:00 am writing it trying to get some nice pictures of my Christmas wishlist. Ironic that its because of these pictures that made me lose everything I wrote. Bloody hell.

Now I guess I'll just put up images of what I'd like to have and screw the rest of the descriptions =p Can't be bothered to write them all up again.

#1 - Motorola Razr V3

Very nice looking phone with a price to match, about RM 2800 or so. Unless I get to spend some time with a Motorola phone, I'll stick to the ever-dependable Nokia. Their latest design's don't really appeal to me though, abit too "square-ish" for my liking.

Nokia 6260 - Pretty weird location for the function buttons but I guess it works for the PDA style usage.

Nokia 6170 - Nokia's coming up with alot of clam-shell phones lately. This one I haven't really seen yet. Design looks so-so. Don't think there's any MP3 ring-tones on this one. At least the buttons are placed nicely.

# 2 - Apple iPod Color

Music on the go, 60 GB of storage plus it can be used as a back-up hard disk as well. US $599. Ouch! But who needs that when you can have.....

# 3 - Sony PSP

Isn't this a beauty as well. The PSP (Playstation Portable) hand-held console from Sony. The crazy Japanese lined up overnight to get their hands on one of these. Apparently selling very, very well. US version's coming out soon with a supposed price tag of about US $200.

It plays games, videos, music. Basically does everything the iPod can plus MORE! Only thing is that the media would come on UMD discs, plus the usage of Memory Stick duo.

And those are just some of the things that I wish I could have =D I guess all these gadgets are what they call big-boy's toys. Don't get me started on other stuff like cars. Saw some pictures of a very nice looking BMW 3-series here

Do I have anything that that costs less than RM 100. Not that I can think of any at the moment. The only thing that comes close is probably the "Return Of The King Extended Edition" DVD that comes up to about RM 180

Met FC at Pyramid yesterday. She's down in KL for a week or so for some meetings. Caught up on stuff. She let me try out her new Canon Ixus 40. Very nice. Small and slim - easy to cary around. Alot of sliding switches though. Don't know how it'll hold up for extended use.

She paid about RM 1800 for it about a week back, then when she took a friend to buy it recently, the price was down to RM 1500 and it seems he got a better deal with a bigger memory card! Ouch!

I don't know if it was the night shots that I took at the wedding when my hand was shaky or there's a problem with our Pentax Digital camera. I can swear my hands were shaking when testing out the Ixus 40. But the pictures were pretty decent. I'd need to try taking pictures at night before I can really be sure.

Got a reply from SW the other day when I sent her an sms greeting. She's in Kota Kinabalu now, like she said. Surprised when she said that my birthday and Christmas presents are with her, waiting to be claimed. She wants to meet up again when she gets back from KK. It's hard to believe but its already been about 6 months. Has it been that long already?


I never thought she'd bother getting me anything. I could only ask myself "Why?". Especially after our "fight". Not that I'm complaining, its nice that she still thinks about me. I still have one of her toys which I was supposed to give her.

Maybe its time to go shopping again.

I'd also need to send my Playstation 2 for servicing. It's acting up now. I think its time to send it in for a check-up.

I think its time for another hair-cut before the dinner tomorrow.

Good Guy or Bad Boy.....

Evil thoughts

Don't you just hate the kids who go around in shopping malls with their stupid Heely shoes? You know those shoes with the rollers in the heels. The little shits are a menace. There were many times when I just felt like tripping them, or just clotheslining them, WWE Wrestling-style.

They shouldn't go around in shopping malls like that. They'll get someone or themselves hurt. And I wanna hurt them real bad. Their parents should tie them up with a leash. Damn the person who came up with the idea for the Heely's! Damn him.

More EVIL thoughts

There's a guy at work who deserves to be beaten up. Real bad. He's lucky he hasn't met my other friends or there'll be no mercy. Knowing my friends, they'll put a gunny sack of his head (but he's so small he might probably fit into the sack), kick the shit out of him and leave him in a bloody and broken mess. Somebody ought to do us all a big favour and teach this guy a lesson.

This guy, let's call him Tommy, is a little guy. He looks kinda weird too (OK, so I'm not the best looking guy in the world but hey, I'm entitled to my own opinion). It's hard to imagine so much noise can come out of a little guy like him. Small guy with a big mouth. The worse thing about him is his attitude. He probably thinks of himself very highly. Thinks that he's some genius or something. Imagine hearing him saying all fresh IT-grads "know nuts". Wait, maybe he didn't put it that way, he said "they know shit and they're useless" or something to that effect. OK, so he's in HSBC's IT Dept, does that mean he's hot shit? I don't think so.

So what do I have against Tommy? It's plain torture having to take the same transport as him everyday. He just doesn't shut up once he opens his mouth! All sorts of bullshit will come out of his mouth. He talks alot of smack for someone who's not doing customer service work. He makes it seem as though he'll be able to handle American customers. His trademark phrase - "just screw them up nicely, just fuck them up, don't give face". Even the driver laughs at Little Tommy saying he just doesn't stop talking.

Urm, yeah right. Let's see you try it out. My impression is that he talks smack when he's not around them, even when he talks to our American VP. Heck, I think he's a pussy.

He always seems to insulting everyone else, I'd bet if I told you ladies what he insults you with, you'd probably get your own gunny sack and stand in line, waiting to beat this little shit up. I hardly speak to him. I don't want to encourage him.

I wish this shift would end soon. Not only is the shift tiring, I have to put up with Little Tommy's bullshit. Another 3 weeks of torture. But I think he'll be going for his annual leave soon. Thank god.

My original MGS3 disc finally arrived on Friday. It's not working the way its supposed to. Maybe I need a new Playstation 2. Then again, my collection is complete. And "Return Of The King" Extended Edition DVD is coming out on 14th December 2004. Ouch. Maybe the DVD can wait until....

ZT sms-ed me this morning, apologizing for not replying the sms I sent her earlier this week. I told her I got Friday off and asked if she wanted to meet. She didn't reply, so I didn't purse further. She sms-ed me this morning, saying she could meet me for lunch. I told her it was going to be a rush cause its going to be Dei's wedding dinner tonight. I called her and she said it was ok, we could make it some other time. I promised I'd make it up to her the next time I see her. Next time.

Yes, I don't think I mentioned it anywhere in my blog before. My kid sister is getting married. Congratulations. What else can you say to a sibling who's getting married? It's going to be a reunion of sorts. Relatives coming back from Australia, I'm going to meet a whole bunch of people I don't even know tonight.

Movie Magic

My first attempt at reading "The Lord Of The Rings" was back in 1999 when I borrowed the novel from TPC (I wonder how's he doing these days?Lost contact ever since he went to Singapore) . I gave up after a few chapters. Tolkien was long winded and I couldn't stand to read about how green the leaves were, and how the bubbly stream sounded as it flowed towards the river. The songs and rhymes were torture as well. I had not choice but to stop reading and returned the book to TPC after that. After hearing so much about the book and how good it was supposed to be, it was not something I could see myself continuing. I was never much of a reader back then anyway.

HBO had a repeat of "The Fellowship of The Ring" again on ASTRO just a few days ago. I've lost count of the number of times I've seen this movie. I happened to be watching (again) the ending of the movie. The part where Frodo decides to leave the Fellowship to complete his quest after Boromir tries to take The One Ring from him. Frodo gets ready to escape when he's confronted by Aragorn at the top of the hill on Amon Hen.

And then, my favorite scene from the movie plays out again. Aragorn resists the temptation to seize the ring from Frodo, remphasizing his vow to protect Frodo so the quest can be completed. Then he sees the glow on Frodo's sword, Sting. The music, the action, Aragorn's battle stance before he takes on the band of Uruk Hai. I thought he'd be killed in battle protecting Frodo.

Of course all this was before I read the book - so I had no idea that Aragorn was one of THE main characters in the whole trilogy. So in the end, it wasn't Aragorn that fell in battle, but Boromir instead. The music in the scene where he was struck down by 3 Uruk Hai arrows was good as well.

Because of this scene, "Fellowship Of The Ring" has secured a place as my favorite of all 3 movies in the trilogy.

I promised Ryan I'd go get his game this past weekend. It had already arrived and the "pirate" version didn't work so he's been waiting for it for ages. I knew I had to be going to 1U to collect it. I sms-ed ZT to see if she wanted to meet up. I didn't hear from her for the rest of the week, so I assumed she didn't get my message, or was out of credit: until Sunday. Just as I managed to get a parking space. She sms-ed saying she was on the way to 1U and wanted to meet up. I replied "No problem, I'll see you" but there was - I brought Ryan along with me.

ZT sms-ed me when she arrived as I was trying on some pants that I needed to get, while Ryan was impatient, waiting to get home to play his new game. I met up with ZT after I got my pants, she needed help with a decision - to get a briefcase or a handbag for her female AMO. And all this while, Ryan was tagging along, still dying to get home to try his game. We went around a few stores trying to decide what to get her AMO. I invited ZT to have dinner, but she said she might have to have dinner with her brother, whose car she was using.

Some other time then. What a waste though.....a case of bad timing?

It's Monday again, work's going to be shitty with the holiday season coming up. I'm now officially in another AMO's team now. I asked for the transfer because the rest of my team will be in her team now. It'd be easier for arranging transportation. Seating positions won't be scattered as well once we switched to a different shift time again. Almost ALL of her group has handed in their resignation. More group reshuffling.

Time to get some shut-eye before work tonight, then to slave on for another week. But wait, I have this Friday off, so that's something to look forward to.

Addicted....

Some of you might not believe how a person can be addicted to a video game. But its true. Its fucking insane. I have to say this "Metal Gear Solid 3" is one piece of killer software. Hideo Kojima is a genius. No wonder some people worship the ground he walks on - he's probably like a god to them.

Then again, Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty was THE reason I bought my Playstation 2 in the first place. Now's there's another game to add to my collection of games. It's my new favourite in the series, which I'm ranking as MGS3, followed by MGS1 and finally MGS2 (which was a letdown cause of more movie cutscenes and less gameplay)

The genius himself, Hideo Kojima

What the hell is Metal Gear? This masterpiece is a video-game/movie hybrid. Beautiful graphics, excellent music themes. It's like a playable movie, in simpler terms. This game is an achievement, unlike other games - not just a run and shoot game. The game is defined as a "tactical espionage game". It's got hi-tech gear, lots of guns which equals action. You've got to think to complete the mission-objectives. You have to hide from the enemy, use force only if necessary (or if you're feeling sadistic). It's realistic (to a certain degree). Hideo Kojima once said he wanted to be a film director. I can see where the inspiration comes from now.

It excerises more than the finger muscles, the brain gets a work out too :D And then, there are the Japanese chick posters and the sexy female characters to ogle at as well. That's always a bonus.

I'm turning into some kind of nerd/geek now. Basically, this game is taking up alot of my free time which I don't use for sleep now. I'm just waiting for the original to reach the shop. But don't take my word for it read more about Metal Gear Solid 3 - here .

Can't get enough of Metal Gear Solid? How about clicking here ? And while you're at it, check out the official Metal Gear Solid 3 website.

Can someone buy me this limited edition figure? It's only RM 600 or so I heard. Only 5ooo pieces made.

Come to think of it, I haven't updated my wishlist for a very, very long time. So many things, so little money. The XBOX was acting up, giving problems. It wasn't loading some discs. And now the PS2 is acting up! It took me one-bloody hour to load MGS3 last night. I guess I won't be having problems like that if I have the original copy.

I was feeling nostalgic, I bought a copy of the Sega Megadrive Emulator. I was ecstatic when I saw Streets Of Rage @ Bare Knuckles (for the Japanese market) on the cover. This game had excellent music. One of my favourite games back in the early 90s.

Streets Of Rage @ Bare Knuckles Intro Screen

This disc has got hundreds of SEGA games, the kind of video games I used to play in the arcades on on my Sega Megadrive when I was much younger. The memories. Maybe one day, I'll do a blog on my obsession with video games. Any requests?

Today, Y told me that she's gone for an interview and she might be resigning soon. Another one leaving. She's probably going to read this, so I'll remind her that "You owe me a big makan! TGIF's or American Chilli's!". All the best to her of course.

AMO S told me the night before to take the day off yesterday cause I had to work this coming Saturday, reason being "alot of people have resigned and there's not enough people to cover the shift". And today, its Thanksgiving in the USA so more free time for me.

I think its time to carry on with my "Snake Eater" mission. Over and out.....

Lady luck shines on me.....

Once again, time passes by so quickly. It's hard to imagine its been one month since I last updated this blog. Things at work have slowed down abit. It got abit out of control at one point, but everything seems tolerable for now. It seems another 5 people have handed in their resignation letters. Rumours that Mr. Automate himself (another one of the AMO's) have tendered in his resignation. Come to think of it, the AMO's had no idea they'd be taking up a Call Centre job when they applied for it.

Everyone's got an issue with management. We seem to have incompetent people managing us. All of our annual and core leaves have been frozen just because "there have been low service levels and we need all the manpower that we have". I don't think freezing everyone's leave is going to help the service levels, we're already de-motivated as it is and then taking our leaves away is supposed to help? Seems to me the VP doesn't know jack-shit about managing people. It's no wonder more people are leaving for higher pays PLUS regular working hours.

I hear the "banding" has been approved. If all goes well, that means we'll be getting our raise early 2005 *Fingers crossed* There hasn't been any confirmations just yet. Early talks and meetings with the MO revealed that it could be anywhere between a 10 - 20% pay rise, although that was just his guess. Of course the higher the better but we'll just have to wait to see what those figures would be. Hopefully the shift-allowance would be taken into consideration as well.

The past weekend wasn't too good. Had some sort of sudden insomnia. Lack of sleep. Too much excitement going on lately. Our shift from 1am - 10am has been switched again(!!!!!) starting this week. For the next couple of weeks, we're back on the 9pm - 6am shift. It's a good shift - its just the sudden changes that's taking its toll.

The only good thing (other than a monthly salary that pays my bills) to come out of this job is I've won a competition. I don't remember ever winning any prizes so far. Nothing of value anyway. I signed up for a HSBC credit card when I started work and a couple of months back - I got a call. Now I normally curse and swear when I get calls in the day while I'm sleeping. But on this day, it was a call from HSBC and I was one of the "pre-selected", lucky ones who was short-listed for a competition. I had to answer a couple of questions and I'm surprised I managed being in a half-asleep state.

Fast forward a few weeks after that, I get a call from HSBC again (in the morning when I'm sleeping as usual) telling me that I've won a handphone. All I needed to do was to fax in the receipt of credit card purchases of RM 120 or more. The problem was - I didn't really use the credit cards of mine. Spoke to some people who asked be to call HSBC to verify that it was a legit contest. When that was done, I went shopping. I actually spent more than I needed to. Damage: close to RM 300 on 3 work shirts. Ouch.

So the conclusion - I received a letter in the mail the other day for me to claim my prize. It was from the Samsung Distributor.



Not too shabby. A Samsung SGH-X600A. Retail price - RM 950! Sisters were hinting that I should try to get a different model, pay abit of money to top-up the difference. Too bad, can't do that. I know what they wanted - or at least what one fo them wanted.

http://www.samsung.com/my/products/gsm/gsm/images/sgh_e700a_m.jpg">

Well, I wouldn't mind this phone too if I could, still going for about RM 1500 now. But oh well, still a pretty good prize for someone who hasn't won anything before!

This is the Customer Service Supervisor.....

It was a crazy last day of the week. AMO VJ selected 2 other girls (Jassintha and Fazlin) and myself to take on the role of AMO/Supervisor. I was taken off the phone after lunch to walk to floor until it was time to go home. I was to take escalated calls from the other reps when customers wanted to speak to a Supervisor or Manager. It was scary - I didn't know what to expect, my palms started to get sweaty. It was a big responsibility. It didn't help that the rest of my friends kept teasing. According to Jassintha, VJ wanted selected people to take turns.

I was lucky for the first 2 or 3 calls because just as I was about to pick up the call, the customer had already hung up - tired of waiting I reckon. After that, I had 5 calls in total - one of them I had to escalate to VJ because the customer was an unco-operative old hag. What a bitch!

I noticed that some customers sound different when talking to a Supervisor. Maybe I was lucky that day and didn't get any demanding calls. Being a rep myself, some customers just want reassurance from someone with authority and power. Just like the first call I took - the rep told her the same exact thing that I told her - only that she'd only listen to me now - that I was the "supervisor". I have to admit - having the power and authority was kinda fun. We get no such mercy when we're just reps as far as I can tell. Of course there are those who scream, shout and curse especially when it involves money.

I hope they'll pick someone else tomorrow. It's a good experience but somehow I wasn't really mentally prepared to take on the responsibility on Friday. It was last minute after all. There's that phrase "With great power comes great responsibility". Very true. But if this is an indication of things to come - it could be a test or evaluation. Who knows.....?

Again I've spent on unnecessary items this weekend. Another stash of DVDs to add to the collection I have now. I was actually looking for the "Star Wars Trilogy" boxed set but it was sold out again. Then I found some other movies that are hard to find and grabbed those as well. So what I got were:

a) Star Wars Trilogy - 4 discs without the fancy packaging

b) James Bond: Die Another Day - I have yet to watch this Bond movie

c) Face/Off - This one's really hard to find

d) Only The Strong - old action movie about Capoiera, hard to find as well

e) Resident Evil - Milla Jovovich, I'm a fan of the game - made sense to me

f) Tears Of The Sun - Another movie I haven't seen. Didn't work on the XBOX but ok on the DVD player. No need to exchange this now

g) Ong Bak - A Thai-action movie that's supposedly good for the stunts and action, which I have yet to see as well

h) New Police Story - The latest Jackie Chan movie but it's in freaking Mandarin. Gotta get this exchanged. Mandarin just doesn't work for me. I thought I could change the language. No such luck

Bargained for a discount but it was buy 10 get 1 free. Looks like I need to take a drive out tonight to get an exchange. The "Smallville" Season 1 and 2 box-set looks really tempting but they're gonna set me back RM 70 per set. It's going to be a killer. I might put that thought on hold for a while.

SW cancelled our meeting on Friday. Said she couldn't make it this weekend. I told it was ok and we'll make it another time. I didn't want to ask too much.

I guess a boring way to spend the weekend - with old movies. Watched Star Wars "Episode IV: A New Hope" and "Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back" back to back last night. Finished "Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi" today. Gotta think of something to replace "New Police Story" with.

And another weekend gone by.....

Has it been that long.....?

I've been putting off updating this blog for awhile now. Lately, there's only been TWO things that are consistent in my life, which are:
a) Work
b) Sleep

Add the fact that I've been clocking up some hours on video games whenever I can as well.

AMO SF is gone, and MO Lesley had his last day last week. In fact, I heard he reached Heathrow Airport sometime on Saturday. It's been 2 weeks since we've worked without an AMO. Staff (AMO's rather) are lacking. First couple of days of work were great. Cause of the new schedule, there have been multiple screw ups. Not being able to log in then being hit with server problems. After a few hours of telling customers "there are technical problems, please call back in 3 -4 hours" got so bored, we were actually hoping to be able to do some real work. The irony..... One thing I've learnt from all of this, too much of something is not a good thing.

So right now, the shifts are from 8pm - 5am. But who wants to hear about work eh?


The Movies

For the first time since I started working, I felt broke. All because of the "Hush" comics I bought the month before. Because of that, I had to withdraw money from the ATM TWICE last month. Not something I usually do. Time to go back to budgeting my expenses carefully. Bought some DVD movies, the "Star Wars" and "Alien Quadrilogy" still seem very tempting, whether originals or not. Still - the guy was quoting a price of RM 125 for the "Aliens" box-set cause its a freaking 9-disc set. Originals for both sets are going to set me back about RM 299 each. Shit.

Got some DVD movies the other day.

a) Terminator 3 - Nothing special. T-2 still wins - its just a better movie to me
b) Kill Bill Volume 2 - the conclusion of this 2-part-which-was-supposed-to-be-1 movie. Nothing special
c) Dawn Of The Dead (Remake) - Now this one, pretty enjoyable. It could be much much worse! Zombies!

"Star Wars" is pretty cool but like I've mentioned before - I'm not a die-hard fan. It's bound to be a collectible though. Right now, here's something I'll definitely get at the end of the year. Once I have this in my hands, my collection is complete.

Return of The King Extended Edition DVD

50 extra minutes in this Extended Edition not seen in the theatrical release. 250 minutes of LOTR goodness! The Collector's Edition looks good too - but I can't afford it. Can't wait!

I've also been considering collecting DVDs (all my hobbies are expensive for some reason =P). I was thinking of going for a specific theme - Angelina Jolie movies maybe? =P~ *drools* But not many of her movies are good anyway, are they? I was thinking get someone who's just started out in their movie career - or just go the more practical approach which is to get favourite movies on DVD.

So many movies, so little time. There are some movies that I want to watch that are or will be coming soon:

a) Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse - Was told it'll be a waste of my money. Can I just watch it for the babes then?
b) New Police Story - It's supposed to be good. Jackie Chan!
c) Ladder 49 - Seems interesting. Never watched "Backdraft" though
d) Bourne Supremacy - Watched "Bourne Identity" and didn't really think it was that spectacular. Did I miss something?

I think there are more to list but I can't be bothered.

The Tech Guy

Met this new guy from a forum. This guy was a techie. Was supposed to help me burn some games for the XBOX onto DVD+R. Helped me out tremendously by installing some software into my XBOX and turned it into something even better. I can watch all my DVDs on it now. The best thing is, I get to watch my "Two Towers" Extended Edition DVD" on the XBOX now!

Turns out he's a junior back when I was training at Shah Alam. Only found out when I met him and we were chatting about the good ol' times at SHRDC, exchanging tales about "bosses from HELL". It's a small world after all.

Lab Rat

I went to a Chinese physician for the first time in my left. Second actually, I remember the first time I went and it was for an ankle injury sustained playing basketball. I was left with a swollen ankle and it was what some people would refer to as "pigfoot" in Cantonese.

The reason for going this time was simple, to find out what was wrong with my legs. Was told that there was a lot of "foong" in my thighs. I wonder how all that air got into my legs in the first place. It seems it was the pressure or something that caused it to compress my nerves that resulted in the constant muscle aches. Yeah - or something like that.

When I first sat at the desk, he took my pulse. Frankly, the photos of his other patients were rather frightening. You could see swellings on the bodies of these people who came to him for treatment. Little glass/plastic cups were attached on all parts of their bodies and it worked with a vacuum effect, sucking the air out. The result is the flesh being sucked against the cup, sort of forming a mass of purplish-red blob. Then it was my turn. I had to wait for a lady before me.

Frankly, the photos looked worse than it actually felt. I had 4 of those cups attached to each of my thighs. Then the vacuum was activated and the "air" was being sucked out. Basically, it just felt like being pinched - only at 4 spots on each leg. After that, the good doctor came in and stuck 2 cold things onto my leg. Basically I had no idea what he was doing as I was just lying flat on my back. It was cold, he told me to relax. Then I could feel the electricity zapping into my thighs at 1-second intervals. I was being electrocuted. It was a funny sensation - not terribly painful, but a weird sensation. Basically, the combination of the electric shocks and the vacuum cups left me sweating. Good thing is I felt much better after that session, I still have the 8 swells on my thighs. Was planning to take some photos for posterity - but I couldn't find the camera. Maybe some other time. The swells are starting to fade.

The worse thing about this whole "ordeal" isn't the electric jolts or the pinch of air being extracted out of my legs. But the fucking medicine. I was given 2 packets of pills and a bottle of black liquid. The pills I don't mind, can hardly taste them. But the syrup. FUCK. The first sip of it got me wondering if it was actually for consumption and not to be used externally, as an ointment or rub. The liquid burns the throat and the stink of it - there's no word to describe it. It's just horrible. The worse thing is I'm supposed to finish it off and there's more than 1/2 a bottle remaining. Shit.

Repairs, Repairs, Repairs

There's alot of shit failing around the house. First it was my car's air-con. That's fixed now - hopefully. I haven't touched my car for almost a week until yesterday morning when I had to send Sis to work.

Then now we're having problems with some plumbing in the kitchen sink. There's a bloody leak and its a chore to clean up.

This PC is getting screwed up as well - and I can't pinpoint the reason. The resources on the Net are helpful and not. Basically, it can be anything that I've read on the Net. How do I know which is the cause of my PC's CPU usage going up to 100%? Killing some processes seem to work for now. I wonder what it'll be like when I restart it later on.

SW's SMS

I was really surprised to check my phone to see an SMS from SW last night. It's been ages since I've heard from her. The fact is, I haven't really been contacting her much recently. I haven't gotten an SMS from her in weeks, and haven't talked to her or seen her for months. Basically, we were both angry at each other. And I did promise her I'll stop calling her that often.

So, she said she want to meet up this weekend to give me back my CDs. I guess that's fine with me. There's something I have to give her as well. I wonder what else - dinner? Maybe might go try that new place in Bangsar Village - The Outback Grill or whatever its called. Some interesting things on the menu I wouldn't mind trying. Movie perhaps? Could turn out to be a meet and greet. We'll have to wait and see.

I'll hope for the best - or hope that nothing's changed, that much - at least. Things are definitely not the same anymore - no doubt about it. Basically, I'm trying not to screw things up.

It's official, this weekend - I've got plans. Something that I haven't done for sometime too. Making advance plans for the weekend.

To end this blog for today.....

R.I.P Christopher Reeves @ Superman

The first super-hero movie I ever saw.

Hush

What a crazy week it has been. Some unexpected news. Goodbyes are never easy. Just found out this week that not 1, but TWO really good people will be leaving the team. MO - LF says he'll be going to UK due to family matters.

Then the day after that, AMO - SF came up to me in the bus to tell me that she's already tendered her resignation. She says she couldn't take the working hours - plus her husband was trying to get her to stop due to health reasons. I was the only one she told in confidence thus far. She told me she didn't want the rest of our team to be de-moralized due to her leaving. She said that she'll put it off as long as possible and only tell them at the last minute. I suppose she has her own reasons for doing that. She's also been giving me advice and encouragement.

Losing 2 people would be a blow to the team. We're already struggling at times with the only MO and 5 AMO's that we have. With 2 of them going, we'll be down to 4. Heard that the replacement MO won't know much so he won't take calls like what MO - LF does for us.

Made a real compulsize purchase the other day. Spent RM 150 on 12 issues of Batman comics (issues # 608 - 619). I was actually only looking for the tradepaper, just to see what the fuss is about. OK - so Jim Lee's art is amazing, and also he's done Batman (as far as I know) on a regular basis. That's what pushed the prices up. I managed to track down the location of The Mind Shop (thanks to Sweet Suet). Went there and found the hardcover of Hush Volume 2 but Volume 1 sold out. There was a set of the "Hush" story-arc on sale by one of the members. That's when my impulse to buy came in. It is already considered collector's editions due to limited availability - you should see what the prices are on EBAY. Still I think $ 150.00 is reasonable considering that they're selling it for at idreamsilver:

Waited for so long for "Fable" to come out for the XBOX and when it finally came out. It doesn't fucking work! What a disappointment. Why? Check it out here. It's supposed to be a good game, humour and action. Sounds good enough for me. Met a forummer who offered to burn me a copy of the game in exchange for the copy that I have that doesn't work because of the damned XBOX DVD-Drive. Anyone wants to donate a new one? =D

Had to console myself with "The Guy Game" - lots of boobs, not one for the kids. But hey, I learn something from this trivia game! Do you know which animal has the largest eggs and how many pints of blood are there in the average human body? Wanna know more about "The Guy Game"? Click on ME!

Got to budget myself this month. Managed to find out that the shop near Giant is selling the DVDs for RM 10/each. Have to check out the other shop down the street to compare prices.

The original Star Wars DVD is coming out. Look at the price. Almost fucking RM 300 for 4 discs. What a killer! My extended edition "Lord Of The Rings" DVDs only cost about RM 200/set!

Hobbies are not cheap these days. Bloody hell. More details on the DVD on IGN.com. 10 PAGE review here. You have to admit that this is a really nice looking box/packaging.

I was never a really big Star Wars fan but this is really tempting. Of course there'll be the pirated version for sure. But will it look this good? I guess its alright to indulge once in awhile?

I've never used to much hyperlinks in a post before. I guess it beats having to explain everything that can already be found?

Credits to the respective sites and content writers for their hard work! :D

Spirits, ghosts or muscle spasms.....?

So I went to visit the doctor yesterday. Thanks to HSBC's ING coverage. It didn't cost me a thing.

So the doctor told me that it was due to muscle spasms. Asked if I had underwent operations before, had any fractures.. I told him it happened after I injured myself at the gym last year and the pain was coming back once in awhile.

He assured me there was nothing to worry about. He said it could be mild arthritis. Cold environment is a contributing factor as well. Still he said there was nothing to worry about when I told him that it hurts when I attempt to stand when I get these "cramps". He said it was no big issue, just muscle spasms. OK doc, you're the one who had at least 7 years of studies for your Medical Degree. I guess I should listen to you.

So we have 2 versions of the story now, one a Supernatural one, if you choose to believe, and the other is more medically,scientific theory. I'll just wait awhile and see how things go. I'm becoming a spastic. It's not a very nice feeling. I wonder how many people actually experienced something like this before.

I feel like I'm back to 90 - 95%. I guess its back to work tonight as I only managed to get 1 day off. Have these stretchable bandages that restrict movements on my calves now. I should've paid more to get the adjustable one because these L-sized ones are a wee bit small for my thighs. Spent Rm 10.90 for a pair only to find I might need the other one for a better fit.

Here's something worth a laugh. Some of you know I'm working for a US-based company hence I support US clients. I've come across some pretty amusing last names (or surnames if you're into British English). I swear these are the names we pull up on our computer systems.

- Pretty On Top
- Below ( customer was called Tanya D Below )
- Kills Warrior

I've also heard there was one sounds something like "Hairy Balls". That one I haven't seen before but I heard it sounds like that.

There also town names that are interesting. I've had someone calling from Zion (Matrix anyone?). Also had one the other day from Hawaii which sounds like a chinese cuss word, Makaikai.

The rest of it eludes me at the moment. Must be the medication I'm under. I think its time to take a nap. Back to work tonight.

Spirits or Ghosts - Save me.....!

It's happened again. The muscle aches are becoming more frequent. It seems to be happening almost every week now. Sometimes just more severe.

Something didn't feel quite right while at work on Monday night. I could feel the muscles in my thighs starting to ache. MO-Kristin was telling me she gets bodyaches EVERYDAY and she goes on a Panadol-popping frenzy to relieve the pain. She its due to the cold - working at night + the air-con environment.

I asked Dinesh for a lift home after work. As always, he was obliging as ever. Great guy. As it was time to go home, I stepped up onto the pavement to get to his car, my legs cramped up and I fell, hitting my knees onto the concrete.

I think this must be the 3rd or 4th time since my gym injury. It looks like it could be permanent damage. Someone said it could be due to problems to the nerves in my legs now. The thigh muscles seem to cramp up for unknown reasons. Sometimes it happens if there's strenous activity. I've noticed it happened once when I was sitting too long in the cinema, watching 2 movies - almost back to back. Of course I move my legs around while watching the movie but looks like it isn't enough. Seems like Carpal-Tunnel Syndrome too.

Mum went to consult the medium and told me that I'm being disturbed by spirits. He told her that the spirits are lurking just around the corner of the street. Shit. I don't know if I should be scared or worried. I might have to go to the temple this weekend to get "blessed". Sort of like an excorcism/protection I suppose.

What a way to spend the off day. Maybe I should take another day off to recover.

She remembered..... =D

You might have been reading about how little things matter to me. Do you know anyone else who'd be as happy as a lark when someone sends them an SMS on their birthday?

I guess I've been living in denial. Always saying that I'm not hoping for much - but the irony was that I kept hoping for this and that. At work, I kept checking my phone whenever I had the chance to see if SW had sms-ed me. And everytime I looked, there was nothing. I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't disappointed.

On the morning of 24th August, I came out of the shower after work and saw the birthday sms that SW had sent me. The weeks before had me wondering if she remembered. I guess she did after all. So I don't get to celebrate my birthday with her this year as we both planned before. The sms she sent meant alot to me.

Of course when her birthday came up 2 days later, I sent her wishes as well. Still, I haven't spoken a word to her. It's been more than a month now I think.

That's the problem with technology now, if you can call it one. Before sms was created, it was strictly the phones. If people got into an argument and one party refuses to talk to the other - it ends up with phones ringing and being unanswered. Right now, we have another level of filter for communication, which is the sms. I can count my blessings since she's replying my messages.

JC has been a darling as well, sending me a sms to wish me Happy Birthday as well. It's her birthday today - so if you're reading this "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!".

So - yeah I had to work on my birthday and I wasn't feeling well. National Day's coming up and I have to work as well. Management has requested that we come dressed in traditional clothes. Looks like I have to go shopping then. Some of them are asking me to get a "jeepa" (thanks to Pooi San for reminding me what its called =D). Said I should get the long one because I'm tall.

Vicky (short for Viknesh) was planning to go watch "Alien Vs. Predator" today. But he hasn't called and neither did he reply my sms. Guess not. Some other time then. Maybe tomorrow after I go shopping. As for tonight, I might take a drive down to Mayang Jaya and get some DVDs. Don't know why I'm becoming obsessed with getting some DVDs of old movie favourites and maybe some series as well.

Cheese Overdose.....

The weekend's over. Took a trip to Genting Highlands with the family and stayed a night there. It's been some time since I was last up there. Nothing's changed much as far as I could tell. But the weather was a nice change. Spent most of my time there watching movies - "Twin Effect 2" and "I,Robot". I guess there's alot of catching up to do. So many movies that I want to watch yet so little time. I guess next on my list would be "Aliens Vs. Predator". The last time I watched a movie (2 movies, back to back, rather) was "Spiderman 2" and "The Prince and I" with SW. I think its been more than 1 month since I saw her.

So anyway, we put up a night at Awana and had buffet breakfast the next morning. They had a cheese platter. And I just love cheese. I think the amount of cheese that I consumed was well worth the price of the buffet! But one thing's for sure, I'm going to stay away from Blue Cheese for some time now. It was stinky - but according to Tony Bourdain (ASTRO Channel 11, Discovery Travel and Adventure "A Cook's Tour") - the stinkier the better. I took this piece of 3 cm x 3 cm x 3 cm piece of Blue Cheese. A word of advice - best consumed in small quantities. The cheddar cheese cubes were excellent. So there we go, cheese overdose. Not that I'm complaining.

Happy Birthday to me. It's my birthday when clock strikes 12 tonight. All the plans that SW and I made earlier are going down the drain. I wonder if she'll sms me tonight?

OK - so there're other reasons to be happy about. Payday's coming up soon. Been trying to budget and I think it works.Yay! How time flies. Another month's gone by.

Time to go off for a shower, then to get some sleep. My body's aching. Shit - seems to happen when I come back from trips. And my legs are giving me the shits again.

Signs.....

I don't know how many people read the Malay Mail. A lot of people claim its a tabloid paper and rightly so. Lots of articles and scandals in it most of the time. There was an eye catching article just sometime last week. It was about crop circles appearing somewhere in the United Kingdom - the End of The World is supposedly in 2012 according to the Mayan Calender.

Crop circles were the theme in M. Night Syamalan's move "The Signs". The article made interesting reading though it was pretty short. People claim that the crop circles appeared overnight, while there are the usual ones that said it was the work of detailed and precision planning. So is the world really ending in 8 years? Who knows? The truth is out there.....Some links here

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wiltshire/content/articles/2004/08/10/moonraking_crop_circle_blake_100804_feature.shtml

http://www.diagnosis2012.co.uk/cro.htm (lots of photographs of past "discoveries")

Of course "Signs" here just doesn't mean the movies or the crop circles. I've finally sms-ed SW after more than 2 weeks. I couldn't wait. I didn't want to. It was just general things that I asked her. She finally replied. I sent a reply to her reply but there was nothing after that. Of course I sent that sms after midnight. I wasn't really expecting a reply. I told her to gimme a buzz when she wants to meet up. This time, I won't be placing too much hope.

That was a good sign. Hopefully a sign that we can still be friends.

It feels like I've wasted my weekends away lately. I sleep through most of Saturdays now since I get home early Saturday mornings. Christian and Elida were flying back to San Diego this weekend. They all wanted to meet up at Planet Hollywood on Saturday night. It would have been good to hang out with them but I had a sore throat and my legs started to ache abit again. Azhar sms-ed and said they would be going to Ampang for karaoke but I decided to stay home. I guess it would be better since I won't be enjoying myself anyway. So its only Jorge for the next week before he goes back to San Diego this weekend.

Work isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Even so, 3 girls have already handed in their resignations. One's got a dream job, she studied Bio-Chemistry or something like that and got a job at a pharmacy/lab. One can't take the working hours while I didn't get to talk to the 3rd one. In fact, I don't think I ever talked to her much before.

Basically this work isn't as stressful as IT work I suppose. A few of us have been discussing what's going to happen now that people have started to resign. My points are that once we log off at 7 am after work, we're done. We don't have to bring home any remaining work, no overtime. Basically its a good deal for the amount I'm getting. At least I don't have to pull out my hair thinking the best way for coding a damn software program =D

I woke up a couple of times this morning, at 2 am, 5 am then finally before 9 am. My eyes are all teary. I slept before 9 pm last night, I don't think it's because of lack of sleep. I might need to go get some more rest.

What a week.....

Things at work are getting crazier with each passing day. At the moment, we're taking about 30 - 40% of the calls routed from San Diego. All that's about to change. I think once Tranch 3 starts taking calls, we'll be handling 50% of the calls. Last week was pretty intense. Answering close to 40 calls per day - and to think that's just 1/3 of what the Reps are doing in the US office! The week was pretty good - majority of the calls were good. Only had a few of them shouting at me. One of them was the husband of the customer. The customer was in a car crash, lying in a hospital bed with a broken neck. Policy states I couldn't talk to the husband because his name is not on the loan. I tried to tell him that then he started shouting, stating that we (as in the Company I suppose) have no "goddamn sympathy for no one!". I had the call escalated to Jorge and he got cussed at too.

I've been a good customer my whole life, I never made things difficult for anyone. Or rather I try as much as I can not to. To all of you reading this who's NOT in customer service, just a word of advice - Don't Shoot The Messenger! We're just doing our job. Some people don't get paid enough for this I reckon. Me? I'm pretty satisfied with the amount I'm getting to get a shouting or scolding once in a while.

Yesterday, I spent about RM 500 on videogames. Some of you might think "RM 500 on a new machine etc isn't too bad". Reality is that I spent that amount on 3 tiny discs. Can't help it if originals cost a bomb. It's no wonder people turn to pirated stuff. Imagine how long this would last time for them to get their "fix". There's nothing much I can do about it since there's no pirated stuff I can get for these. I'll just have to live with that if I still wanna continue getting games for my Gamecube.

I've been having this backache for a few days now. It's on and off. I don't know if I'm not sleeping right or I'm sitting up for too long at work. It's been giving me the shits. If it's not the back, its the legs. I'm getting pissed off at myself. Ever since that gym "accident" my legs have been giving me troubles. I don't know if its some permanent effect to my muscles and I don't want to go have it checked out. Have some friends telling me to get an X-ray.

Some managers told me it could be because of the cold at work. Honestly that's the first time I've ever heard cold weather giving people cramps. But they're older people, I guess they know what they're talking about?

I've also had this weird dream that I've had.In fact, I've had this dream a few times now. In the dream, I always have some of my teeth falling out. Is it a sign? That I should be taking better care of them? Shit. It's a scary thought.

I think its been about 3 weeks since I last heard from SW. I've kept my promise thus far, the promise to her that I'll call her less. I haven't dialled her number for 3 weeks now. I haven't even sent her a single SMS this whole time. It's not easy, it hurts. Sure I still think about her. I still wonder if she's still mad at me. She hasn't SMS-ed or called me either. I wonder if its the "Waiting Game" we're both palying now. We're both waiting to see who makes the first move. Maybe she's waiting for me to contact her first before she'll reply. It could be an ego thing. I don't know. I don't mind putting that aside. As long as she's not mad anymore.

Personally I was thinking of waiting until the 26th of August to send her a message. It'll be her birthday. Sometimes I wonder if she still remembers mine, if she will send me a SMS or call me on mine. We actually made plans to celebrate our Birthday's together this year.

Funny how things can just turn 180 degrees in a split second. The wrong time, the wrong day, the wrong mood. One mistake, just one wrong word - and sometimes, there's no turning back.

They told me to forget her, told me to move on. It seems like the right thing to do but I always believe in hope and that silver lining. Could this be called "never giving up easily"? I worry that I might regret the decision but here's something I want to share:

Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

And in a world on a silver platter
And wondering what it means
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

The Reason.....

Hoobastank - The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I found the reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

- Hoobastank -

She liked this song alot. And it kind of rubbed off on me. I must admit its a catchy song. I could learn to like it on my own. It was OUR song. But she doesn't know it. She won't get a chance to find out, she probably never will.

Met a new friend yesterday, Jason. Don't know if I can call him a friend yet. Helpful dude who works for a videogame shop. I guess that's good for me. I placed orders from him for a Freeloader ver 1.06B and Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes for the GameCube. This might sound Greek to you. No worries. I'm not expecting all of you to know. Spent money on myself yesterday. Bought some XBOX games. Need to take my mind off. As long as I'm happy. I better be happy when I'm going to spend close to RM 400 for two tiny little discs.

Will be working 10 pm - 7am for the next 3 weeks. Oh, won't that be fun. At least I get to have more sleep in the afternoons.

Let's wait awhile.....

There's something I want to tell you
There's something I think that you should know
It's not that I shouldn't really love you
Let's take it slow

When we get to know each other
And we're both feeling much stronger
Then let's try to talk it over
Let's wait awhile longer

Let's wait awhile before it's too late
Let's wait awhile before we go too far

Remember that special night
When all of the stars where shining bright
We made our first endeavor
To stay together

Remember our very first promise
To love, to share, and be real honest
But on that very first night
It wasn't quite right

Let's wait awhile before it's too late
Let's wait awhile, our love will be there
Let's wait awhile before we go too far

I didn't really know not to let all my feelings show
To save some for later so our love can be greater
You said you would always love me
Remember I said the same thing too
You don't have to be frightened with my love
Because I'll never give up on you
Let's wait awhile, awhile before it's too late
You know you can't rush love

Let's just take our time
With love so good, we shouldn't rush it
We need to slow it down

- Janet Jackson -

The radio's on Mix FM everyday on the bus when I go to work. I heard this yesterday. I've never really enjoyed Janet's music much because I can't hear what she's singing half of the time. Somehow the lyrics of this song makes sense.

It's common sense really. If only I'd have taken heed earlier. Then again, in these situations - common sense isn't always practiced. You don't always think with your head.

She finally responded to my sms. What she said feels like a cut. She knows my weakness, my weak spot. She knew where to hit me where it would hurt most. The funny thing is, I didn't get upset over it. Maybe I've shed my last tear for her. I replied and ended my message saying "I can promise you I'll call you less". I have the right to be angry too - but I didn't want to make things worse than they already were. Being the loyal kind of person that I am, I'll salvage any bit of friendship left if I can. I think based on my experience througout the years, I never leave them, they leave me instead.

The past few days after getting her last sms has been strange. I know this isn't a normal reaction. It can't be explained. At least its comforting to know that I won't be hurting for long.

Anyone with advice or comments, please click on the "#" at the bottom of this post and type away. All comments and advice is welcome. PF was asking about the comments for weeks. It was there all this time. Right under our noses. If I didn't click on the "#" to have a look, I wouldn't have known as well.

That's our problem sometimes, we don't see what is in front of us. Just because we don't see it, it doesn't mean it isn't there.

She feels suffocated....

The truth is finally revealed. It's a good thing that I sms-ed her last night. Otherwise I would be left wondering, worrying of what happened, what might have been.

She wants me as a friend and wants to be my friend (the oldest line in the book it seems). I've been suffocating her. I told her the truth about how I felt and I ended saying I'll give her the space that she wants and she knows where she can get me when she's ready. It feels like a burden has been lifted. Maybe I do feel slightly better. I've already done what I can, the rest is up to time.

Things have gone almost a full circle again. I've walked these paths before - nothing new. But if feels the same everytime. She might just disappear out of my life forever, like how some of the others have. I won't know until the time comes. First you see that silver lining, then hope comes crashing down. I can tell myself its their loss, but I always feel like the real loser.

Now, Brandy's "Have You Ever" keeps playing over and over again in my head.

Thanks to all of you who've been advising me, you know who you are (Jenn especially). Appreciate it. I really do. Thank you.

Do I Need A Reason?

Things haven't worked out the way I expected them to. I was looking forward to meet SW this week. Then she sms-es and tells me she's not free this weekend. Naturally, I reply and just ask "why?". Her reply was "Do I need a reason?". I messaged back saying "No, not really. I was just wondering. But I feel like there's something wrong". There was no reply after that.

About an hour after that, I sent her another message, apologizing for the way I put my words (although come to think of it, there's nothing really wrong with what I wrote). I also told her how I almost crashed my car into the highway divider while driving home from work. I fell asleep while driving and when I opened my eyes, I was about 15 cm from the concrete wall/barrier. It scared the shit out of me. She didn't reply, she didn't call back. Seems like she doesn't give a shit.

I've been asking for advice from friends. They tell me to play hard to get. Not to shower her with so much attention. Maybe I should try listening to them. I'll see if SW does call or sms me if I don't contact her.

Some tell me, I don't have to feel bad. It's her loss. Don't take the blame. It's not my fault.
It's hard to think the way I do when you're feeling shitty about yourself. I guess its natural. They told me to be strong. Bless them too.

Jenn's been a darling. She's been too nice - calling all the way from Perth after I sms-ed her, just to make sure I'm alright. She's got no obligation. She doesn't need to do it. Bless her. Talked to her online. I think it was about 6 hours or so before she went off to bed.

It's time for me to go to bed too.

Nightmares

I've been having nightmares again. Weird dreams - and a few of them in a night. Or day, rather..... Sometimes my dreams seem linked. Interconnected somehow.

Dream # 1

I dreamt about ghosts. Particularly a little kid. A boy. He had some kinda weird obsession with eggs. He was always carrying two with him. I was in some alleyway in the dream when I caught a glimpse of this "boy". He was playing. It seems as though as he had some obsession with Ultraman. He kept putting the eggshells over his eyes as he ran about.

Dream # 2

My parents and I were running away. From the ghosts. I think the boy with the eggs were there. We ran into my car and sped off. We came to narrow road and there was a group of people crossing the road. I regonized those people. They're my colleagues from HSBC, I see some of the girls. They're crossing the road. I look back and I see the ghosts coming after us. I look to my right out the driver's window, I see a motorcycle and he rams into my car - into the driver's door. I feel the car jerk forward, it feels like something rammed into us from behind. The car moves forward. The girls scream. We run over them. We can hear the screams. The sickening sound of crushing bones. I pull the handbrake but its not working. We're still moving forward. I can feel the people we run over under the car. They're screaming in pain.

Dream # 3

I'm someone else. It's a different era. I see decapitated heads on the ground. They're Chinese. They have pig tails. I look around and I hear guys shouting "Sifu! Sifu!". They're screaming, crying. The unmistakable music of "Wong Fei Hung" is playing in the background. Who the hell am I? The people run over the decapitated heads and pick them up. One of them is my "Wong Sifu". What's happened here? Why am I calling him "sifu"? I look around and I see people running towards us. I recognize one of them and I call out to him "Nga Chat So!". Then I wake up.....

Weird dreams. I wonder if they symbolize something?

Oh shit, I don't have anymore work clothes. I need to go do some ironing.

It's like Deja Vu all over again .....

It's like reliving a bad dream again. Everything seems familiar. The conversation, the pain. The whole scenario is playing like an old video-tape. Been there, done that. Still I'm making the same mistakes.

Things don't look good. Having been in this kind of situations before, you'd think it helps. You'd think the experience would numb the pain. Well guess what? It still hurts like hell. It's like getting your heart stabbed, over and over again.

I called SW yesterday. Waited almost the whole week to hear from her. She still hasn't reloaded her phone. Thought I'd be seeing her this weekend. Guess not. She's going to Penang and when I asked if it was with another guy. She laughed and said yes. I told her I was jealous. Then that laugh again and she said "Good-lah, be jealous". "What about me? What am I going to do this weekend?" I asked her. "Go out yourself" came the reply.

I get the feeling she's trying to tease me. As usual. Maybe she's going with her colleagues. I hope she is. Then there's that other voice in my head that tells me that there is the possibility that she's telling the truth, that she might be going with another guy. She's playing mind games. I'm not good at that. Still, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt until I have the balls to confront her. It wouldn't be a "confrontation". What am I still doing here in this situation? Some other guys would've been out of here by now. Why am I still waiting here? I'm subjecting myself to the very torture I'm complaining about. Maybe what they said is true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I suppose she'll have to wait till next weekend to get her soft toy. The one she wanted to get last weekend. This week's gone by so fast, I guess it won't be long until I see her again. In the meantime, I must join the rest of the guys for a movie this weekend. I heard they're going for "King Arthur". Why not, eh?

It's sort of like Graduation Night tonight. There'll be a "pot luck" lunch. We'll be going live this coming week. We've been practicing for our performance. We've gotten so much better after 2 practices. We're singing "The Beach Boys - Surfin' USA" for our first act and we still haven't figured out what next. We'll be taking calls starting next Monday. Oh yippee kai-yay!~ That will be fun.

Where's the time machine so I can just get this weekend over and done with?

Monday Blues......

Everyone hates Monday no? I'm going to have trouble at work again tonight. I get back to my usual sleeping routine during the weekends and I'm wide awake on Monday mornings. By the time I'm at work, I seem drained. Guess it can't be helped unless I can keep awake at night and sleep in the day. Maybe a short nap later will do me some good.

Went out on Friday morning to get tickets for "Spider-Man 2" and "The Prince and Me" even though my legs were still hurting. Managed to get some for Saturday evening. The things I do ..... At least she was concerned and told me to get more rest. It appears to me that I don't spend enough time with SW.

There are things I want to ask her, to clarify with her. I feel lost, in the dark. I don't know what's going on. Maybe I can't handle the truth. It's like the lyrics of a song, something about being too scared to ask and too proud to lose. Perhaps its best to just wait until the time is right.

She didn't reply my sms and I've been thinking too much, unnecessarily - wondering what happened, what could have been etc. Maybe I should just let things be. If time permits, I'll see her this weekend again. I'll just wait until she calls or SMS-es me. Prediction: To get tickets for "King Arthur".

Oh, the things that I do .....

Again.....

I'm sitting at home, having pain in my thighs. It's happened again. I was immobile for about a day. I started feeling the pain yesterday, it hurt a little whenever I stood up to start walking. It got worse by the time it was time to go home. I couldn't even go up the steps into the bus. Managed to climb up after a few attempts. Managed to get alot of people worried. Bless them, especially Matt who was kind enough to offer assistance.

Wanted to come straight home when dad picked me up, didn't want breakfast. Just wanted to go to sleep. I was already half asleep while working on our presentation that night. As I was walking up the ramp towards the lifts, I somehow tripped over my own feet and fell forwards - landing on my knees before sprawling on the ground. My right knee's pretty banged up now. I had difficulty standing up because of the pain in my thigh muscles. Most of the pain is gone now.

Right now, I'm supposed to be standing in line at 1Utama getting movie tickets for Saturday. Maybe tomorrow morning when I'm feeling better. Hopefully tickets will still be available. Good thing SW's understanding. I guess she's been busy with her work as well. I'm looking forward to seeing her this weekend. It's been about 3 weeks now.

Went shopping on Monday. For the first time in a very long time, I bought something for my wardrobe with orange in it. I bought a pair of Nike Cortez which is white, and a bit of blue as well as orange. I've been debating for a long time to get this shoes, but previously I didn't. This pair isn't really my first choice due to the colour but it so happened that there was a size that fits so I guess that was what prompted me. It's difficult to get shoes in size-12s, maybe I was lucky.

Time to get more rest.....I think I need it.

Independence Day, Happy Holidays!

It's a holiday today, the 4th of July in the USA. A public holiday for us. Back to work tomorrow. That I don't mind, but its the damned quizzes that we'll be having the whole of this week. Didn't do that well for the first one (78%) but good thing I got 90% for the 2nd one. I didn't expect to go through quizzes and exams all over again!

Got back from Fraser's Hill yesterday. We left about 6 pm after a very late lunch. It was raining the whole afternoon and the drive downhill was slow and steady. Had to drop Darshini and Suaran off in Jalan Ipoh and then drove back home.

Tried archery for the first time but I did OK.....after the first 2 arrows. At least I was hitting the target board. Of course practice makes perfect. I ended up with a bruise on my left arm when I got hit by the bowstring when releasing the arrow. Sure there was that protective plastic plate but I guess I didn't have it in the right position. It was like being slapped with a leather belt.

I think it was close to 24 hours before I had any sleep when we were in Fraser's because we left about 6:30 am or so on Saturday morning after work. Then it was off to Setapak where we stopped for breakfast before heading to Selayang to get more things for the trip. Minor accident, lost one of the wheel arch deco when I scraped against a Wira. Scary! Can't believe I didn't see how close I was to the car. Thank god there was no one in the car at the time!

Weather was good, cool - just the way I like it. But I guess the rain spoilt alot of it. Overall it was a good trip, a bunch of fun people to hang out with.

Called SW last night and talked to her for awhile. Haven't spoken to for a while. It seems like a long time. It's a relief to hear her say she misses me, even its only a "little bit" as she puts it. We're probably going to watch "Spiderman 2" this Saturday. I might have to go out later and see if I can get tickets. Maybe I'll do some shopping. I've still got to activate the Citibank credit cards anyway.

I'm a Vampire now.....

It's been 2 weeks working at HSBC now. Sleeping habits still needs some adjustment. I sleep in the day and I work at night. Other than that, everything's fine and dandy. Except for the fact I had trouble remembering some of their names. Trust me, its really hard to remember names with 3 or 4 syllables!

One of our trainers told us the other day that by the end of our Induction (Orientation), we'll be so close to each other, we'll be like brothers and sisters. She was right. When we were told we're going to be split up for our process training, people started crying. It's hard to imagine but it really did happen.

Put a group of strangers together everyday for 10 - 15 days and at the end of it, they'd have formed a bond. It was something I witnessed first hand.

So, for the past 2 weeks, I had to act, sing as well as dance. Basically, made a fool of myself just like everyone else. But it was all in the name of fun. Because of all these activities, I've a new nickname (Lover Boy - and Priya particularly likes to call me that) because of the role I had in a sketch we had to act out. Now, everytime I walk past some of the girls (and guys) its "Hi, Lover Boy!". I've been told I had a soothing voice, so I had to sing a song to console some of the girls when they were sad over the "split".

I guess they're are all compliments? I guess I'll be forced to perform something when we all go to Fraser's Hill next weekend. It's the 4th of July and we'll be getting a holiday on the 5th as well! Whoo hoo!

The best thing about the past 2 weeks at work was payday! We got 1/2 month's pay (RM 900+) for doing almost nothing. All we did was listen to people give some talks, did some written assignments, a couple of presentations, watch some videos and played lots of games.

There was this game we played, which was called "Guardian Angel". All of us picked a random name out of a box and we would be this person's Guardian Angel. We were supposed to get small, inexpensive games for our "Mortals" for about 4 days. Turned out that my "Angel" was Nanthiny. Honestly, it was pretty sad because I didn't get anything the first 2 days. She wrote me a note and said she forgot. But I guess it turned out alright at the end. She was really sweet and got me 2 small soft toys and a rose on the final day.

Process training begins this week so we'll see how it goes. And I get to be in the same class as Priya! :D

I sms-ed SW the other day but she told me she was going to be real busy this weekend. She's got a freelance project to do. She did say she'll sms me. Then she found out she had to go back to the office on Saturday. She called me and we were supposed to have dinner. She ended up finishing work late. She said maybe she'd see me today - but she was busy and she wasn't feeling well. Guess I'll probably see her in 2 weeks time.

My first time.....

.....driving inter-state. What did you think? :P At least it was the first time in Malaysia anyway. The drive to PD wasn't that bad. Not bad for a first-timer.

Arrived late Saturday evening, about 5 pm. There were only 6 of us then - CN, MK, Grace, Mathu, SH and myself. We checked in and found out that it was only a 1-room apartment. We took a walk to the beach across the apartments after that.

When we got back, we found that the door knob had been almost ripped the door. We were afraid our apartment has been broken into and our things stolen. Thank god nothing bad happened. Redzal, Bulu and Black called to say they would arrive much later. Because of that, we booked the 10 pm - morning session for the BBQ pit.

Much to our surprise, Komeng and Botak arrived after that so it was a semi-reunion of sorts. We got our stuff and food ready and were all ready to go head to the BBQ pit, when it started to rain. We had to postpone the BBQ, and we didn't have it until about 12 am. We were not the only one, most of the other pits were all in use. The fire didn't start burning and it was about 45 minutes later when we could start to eat. Not long after, it started to rain again. So it was back to the apartment again.

By that time, there were 11 of us squeezed into a small 1-room apartment. We had games of UNO Stacko, "Chor Tai Dee", drank beer. The 4-girls took the air-con room while the rest of us guys had to sleep on the floor or sofa, much like after a drinking binge.

I brought the PS2 along and managed to convert most of them into Wrestling fans, or fans of the game at least. It was Smackdown the whole night and most of the next morning!

Time flies and its Monday again. It's the 12th of April and it seems the clock is ticking. It won't be long before end of May comes about and freedom is ours. Then its time to plan for the next step.

A couple of movies that are out I plan to watch, "Walking Tall" starring The Rock as well as "The Eye 2". Wonder when I'll get the time to do so. I haven't even watched the Wrestlemania XX VCD that I got a few weeks back! Where does all my time go to?

Back online!

It's like being a typical Internet junkie. Haven't been online in days. Had to re-format my PC AGAIN. CPU usage was at a constant 100%, I thought the CPU was a goner! I've estimated about 10 re-formats this time around because I was trying to partition the hard disks, and had to undo it numerous times because of some formatting problems.

No big hoo-ha at work this week. We've started working on our GUI designs. We'll probably have to start coding very soon. Still I think we won't be able to complete our project. THE FOOL intends to send us for some product training, RF Barcode scanner training.

Some observations watching tv while having lunch the other day. Was watching the "Top 10 Goals of the Week" on SuperSport. Notice how players who score goals like to run off while the crowd cheers him on. Notice how his team mates like to run after him and congratulate him by messing up his hair, pulling at his jersey, jumping on him hoping for a piggy back ride. Please, do your team mates a favour, they're already tired enough. Just stand where you are and don't make them run after you!

Been sleeping in the hall for about a week now. Damned air-con in my room isn't working. Repair guy's coming tomorrow to get it fixed, thank god. It's been hot as hell lately.

JC called today. All the way from Perth. Totally unexpected but very a nice gesture. Had a chat which lasted about 20 minutes! I hope that doesn't burn a hole in her purse!

Speaking of which, I'm also trying to budget my phone calls. Spend alot of the time sending text messages these days. Yes, the Aussies would call me a "tight arse" but hey, when you're getting RM 300 per month, I'd bet you'd do the same.

That fucking cheap dumbass!

Yes, more complaints about THE FOOL, so what else is new eh? He has been wanting to keep track of our progress since last week. Making sure we're doing work is the more correct term I suppose. We had some diagrams done in MS Visio but he didn't have it installed on his pc. He told us to borrow the CD from Sam so that he can get it installed on his laptop.

We didn't want to borrow it at first because we wanted him to go out and buy one himself. I mean come on, how much does a fucking pirate copy cost? He can't even afford that? We made the excuse that Sam lent it to someone else. Every morning for the first few days of the week, the first thing he asked us in the morning was "You got the software ah?". After saying NO for the 3rd or 4th time, he told us to go buy a copy and make a claim from the company. That bastard. In the end, we got sick and tired of his constant "harassment" and decided to bring the CD. I guess its much better than driving out wasting our time and petrol doing company tasks and NOT COMPENSATED for it.

I guess its the same situation as the time when he had a fuse blown. He told us to go buy a fuse which probably costs a few cents to a ringgit tops, and asked us to get a receipt. Yeah right. We left the extension plug in our drawers untouched until he started grumbling saying that another short-circuit might happen because the extension we used as a replacement didn't have a fuse. Well, he finally bought the replacement fuse himself.

Now, the mother of all complaints - the bastard really has the balls to ask us to use our previous project's code, modify it by adding some features and then plans to sell it to an International school. He can go fuck himself. To think we're going to give the code to him after all the time and effort we put into it? The fucking dickhead is really taking full advantage of us.

The best part is that he already typed and faxed the quotation to the customer. As if we're going to do the project for him. As we have known all along, he's full of shit. Bullshit coming from him include "All the code you develop for the PCCS System belongs to Supremesoft" and "Do you think Frankie will give you the code to his demo? I don't think so". Perfect replies to use against you, you fucking dumbass!

If you want to think in a more materialistic way, the dumbass hasn't compensated us in any way for developing the SmartCard code. And he didn't offer so what makes him think we'll give it to him, nice excuses aside? We plan to tell him the code belongs to SHRDC and we can't give it to him. If he does mention that he already sent quotation to the customer, we'll use his classic line "That's not our problem!"

Aaaaah, will wonders ever cease? This dumbass is really a one of a kind specimen.

Need a new mouse. This one we're using now is handicapped. I guess its about time.

PS sms-ed me the other day telling me she was going for the Ryze Mixers. Totally unexpected it. Haven't heard in her for awhile. At least she's in KL now =D