It's like Deja Vu all over again .....

It's like reliving a bad dream again. Everything seems familiar. The conversation, the pain. The whole scenario is playing like an old video-tape. Been there, done that. Still I'm making the same mistakes.

Things don't look good. Having been in this kind of situations before, you'd think it helps. You'd think the experience would numb the pain. Well guess what? It still hurts like hell. It's like getting your heart stabbed, over and over again.

I called SW yesterday. Waited almost the whole week to hear from her. She still hasn't reloaded her phone. Thought I'd be seeing her this weekend. Guess not. She's going to Penang and when I asked if it was with another guy. She laughed and said yes. I told her I was jealous. Then that laugh again and she said "Good-lah, be jealous". "What about me? What am I going to do this weekend?" I asked her. "Go out yourself" came the reply.

I get the feeling she's trying to tease me. As usual. Maybe she's going with her colleagues. I hope she is. Then there's that other voice in my head that tells me that there is the possibility that she's telling the truth, that she might be going with another guy. She's playing mind games. I'm not good at that. Still, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt until I have the balls to confront her. It wouldn't be a "confrontation". What am I still doing here in this situation? Some other guys would've been out of here by now. Why am I still waiting here? I'm subjecting myself to the very torture I'm complaining about. Maybe what they said is true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I suppose she'll have to wait till next weekend to get her soft toy. The one she wanted to get last weekend. This week's gone by so fast, I guess it won't be long until I see her again. In the meantime, I must join the rest of the guys for a movie this weekend. I heard they're going for "King Arthur". Why not, eh?

It's sort of like Graduation Night tonight. There'll be a "pot luck" lunch. We'll be going live this coming week. We've been practicing for our performance. We've gotten so much better after 2 practices. We're singing "The Beach Boys - Surfin' USA" for our first act and we still haven't figured out what next. We'll be taking calls starting next Monday. Oh yippee kai-yay!~ That will be fun.

Where's the time machine so I can just get this weekend over and done with?