Do I Need A Reason?

Things haven't worked out the way I expected them to. I was looking forward to meet SW this week. Then she sms-es and tells me she's not free this weekend. Naturally, I reply and just ask "why?". Her reply was "Do I need a reason?". I messaged back saying "No, not really. I was just wondering. But I feel like there's something wrong". There was no reply after that.

About an hour after that, I sent her another message, apologizing for the way I put my words (although come to think of it, there's nothing really wrong with what I wrote). I also told her how I almost crashed my car into the highway divider while driving home from work. I fell asleep while driving and when I opened my eyes, I was about 15 cm from the concrete wall/barrier. It scared the shit out of me. She didn't reply, she didn't call back. Seems like she doesn't give a shit.

I've been asking for advice from friends. They tell me to play hard to get. Not to shower her with so much attention. Maybe I should try listening to them. I'll see if SW does call or sms me if I don't contact her.

Some tell me, I don't have to feel bad. It's her loss. Don't take the blame. It's not my fault.
It's hard to think the way I do when you're feeling shitty about yourself. I guess its natural. They told me to be strong. Bless them too.

Jenn's been a darling. She's been too nice - calling all the way from Perth after I sms-ed her, just to make sure I'm alright. She's got no obligation. She doesn't need to do it. Bless her. Talked to her online. I think it was about 6 hours or so before she went off to bed.

It's time for me to go to bed too.