She feels suffocated....

The truth is finally revealed. It's a good thing that I sms-ed her last night. Otherwise I would be left wondering, worrying of what happened, what might have been.

She wants me as a friend and wants to be my friend (the oldest line in the book it seems). I've been suffocating her. I told her the truth about how I felt and I ended saying I'll give her the space that she wants and she knows where she can get me when she's ready. It feels like a burden has been lifted. Maybe I do feel slightly better. I've already done what I can, the rest is up to time.

Things have gone almost a full circle again. I've walked these paths before - nothing new. But if feels the same everytime. She might just disappear out of my life forever, like how some of the others have. I won't know until the time comes. First you see that silver lining, then hope comes crashing down. I can tell myself its their loss, but I always feel like the real loser.

Now, Brandy's "Have You Ever" keeps playing over and over again in my head.

Thanks to all of you who've been advising me, you know who you are (Jenn especially). Appreciate it. I really do. Thank you.